Poem-ram

Letter to My Future Child
By Megan Amram

The way you don’t exist is remarkable
When I have been hotwired, cobbled from
Spongy tubes specifically to birth. At least to bud

Would be preferable, shedding a child
Like petals drooping from a center.
I apologize profusely to you,

But I am content in my selfishness and
My love of this girl I’ve created.
Today I watched the bees graze,

The perfect mix of threat and song and binge,
And I felt I, too, could bob and maneuver.
I guess they reminded me of you:

Your toddling bumble, your absent suckle,
Your mere addition to the swarm.
You would be a plump grub in honeysuckle

Were you to be anything, but you will not
Be. This is something I’ve decided.
There is only so much life to go around; I’ll take

Two rations. The petal and the pistil.
And, hey, the calyx. The ability to share is mythic,
Like you, and who needs another creature,

Another sea monster? I already have the
Swooping vertebrae of my back, I have my bones
Diving above and below my skin

Filled with just the right amount of people:
One. How could I bring a child into this world
When I want it all to myself?

Life is that right and full of love, flowers, et al.
I’m sorry for me, sure. But most of all, Little Bee,
I am sorry for you.

Monstrous Feminine, and other lip service

snack nest/screening room/finals week

eat. type. read. type. watch. type. eat. sip. read. watch. type. type. eat. eat. eat. sip. eat. watch. type.

(if you were wondering what i've been up to). i'll emerge from this on the 16th. SEE YOU THEEEEEN!!!

I became a woman 15 years ago today